Three Time's a Charm

12 dpo, and I'm looking at a faint line on an early pregnancy test.  Yes, I'm pregnant again.  Three weeks, five days, to be exact.  

I woke up the slumbering husband at 6:40 a.m. and showed him the stick under light.  He mumbled quietly, "Oh my God, I see it." and then passed out again.  He is currently snoring away downstairs, happy as can be.

But am I happy?  Yes!  Joyful, in fact!

Am I terrified?  Yes!  Scared shitless, in fact!

After two consecutive miscarriages, I'm sitting here, legs tightly crossed, vagina clamped shut, trying to WILL that embryo to stay in place and grow.

I emailed my doctor and asked for HcG and Progesterone testing to see how the pregnancy progresses.  She may or may not comply.  I may have to destroy her if she doesn't.  

My main concern is not freaking out every second of the day until I get a good ultrasound of the baby's heartbeat.  My stress levels must stay low, and I have to keep my anxiety at a minimum. 

Pass the Xanax.  And the brownies.