Eeny Meeny Miney Moe

GLASS HALF FULL ME:  My breasts are big and tender!  I could be pregnant!

GLASS HALF EMPTY ME:  Or it could be your period.

GHF ME:  I'm bloated!  Pregnant!

GHE ME:  Or period.

GHF ME:  I'm feeling moody and pissed off!  I'm crying while watching the Olympics!  PREGNANT!

GHE ME:  Or your period is coming up.

GHF ME:  I'm tired...and pregnant!

GHE ME:  Or you're tired because the lining of your uterus is about to shed.

GHF ME:  White milky discharge is a sign of early pregnancy!

GHE ME:  Or your period coming.  Now stop molesting your boobs and shut up and eat this cookie.