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Showing posts with label pregnancy symptoms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy symptoms. Show all posts

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Symptoms

Symptoms so far...


1st Trimester

Mild queasiness
Boobs!
Occasional gagging at night
Bloating

2nd Trimester

Frequent urination
Leg cramps that wake me from a dead sleep
Carpal Tunnel

3rd Trimester

Frequent urination
Constipation
Gas and heartburn, although not too bad
Inconsistent back pain
Fairly constant pelvic pain
Infrequent Braxon Hicks contractions
The constant urge to punch people who stare and make rude comments

Monday, May 4, 2009

The Human Whoopie Cushion

I am full of air.  It feels like air, at least.  It isn't offensive at all, but the sounds I have been making lately are all too embarrassing, considering I berate my husband about doing exactly the same thing on a regular basis.

I have an excuse, whereas he has none...except that he is a boy, and boys are, by nature, kind of gassy and stinky and unabashedly burpy.  

My excuse is far better, in my humble opinion.  I have a BABY sitting on my vital internal organs, and it's having a blast squishing everything around and making mom into a human whoopie cushion.  

Hilarity knows no bounds after a meal of chili mac and a fruit smoothie.  

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Non-Glow

No glow.  I keep waiting for it, but the most I've gotten was a light oily sheen on my T-zone.  Where is that pregnant skin that everyone talks about?  

I do have that wonderful queasy feeling, however, that doesn't stick to just the morning routine.  It shows up at any given moment, whenever it feels like it.  There's no telling when I'm going to feel that weird saliva rush and then that gross lump in my throat that feels like I failed to swallow my last bite of dinner.  It usually appears in the afternoon, which I should be thankful for, considering my work schedule.  It would not be acceptable to vomit at my job, as you can imagine.

I haven't officially tagged it "morning sickness" because it's neither in the morning nor is it a full-blown sickness.  It's on the verge of nausea, but not completely gross like nausea.  I can't describe it other than it's gnarly and unrelenting, and I'm hoping it will subside soon.  I must add that I am extremely grateful it is not as bad as some have described it to be...some pregnant women have gone to the E.R. with dehydration because they've vomited so much.  

On the other hand, the bloating has been far worse than any I've read described on the Internet.  I'm huge.  Like, 5 months huge.  I look like I had a reverse stomach stapling.  Everything is engorged, including my boobs, which are porn star big.

But I keep holding out for "The Glow."  I just know all of this will be worth it when I have skin like Natalie Portman.  Right?  (Just say yes and we can move on.)