F@#$%# Thrush

After a course of antibiotics to kill off the hideous mastitis, I found myself wondering if I had a yeast infection in my nipples, better known as thrush or "candida."  Yay me.

Here's the skinny on thrush.  It's evil.  It's the dumbest ailment known to nipples.  I can't get over how much information is out there on the Internet, and how useless it all is.  Symptoms of thrush are so vague and all over the map there's no way of determining if you or your baby have it, unless you have the classic "white spots," which is also an ambiguous descriptor because there are NO pictures of nipples with thrush on the internet that are helpful.

Every site I visited (foolishly, I know) had the same descriptions, with the disclaimer, "May or may not" before each one.

Your nipples may or may not show signs of redness.
Your baby may or may not have white patches on the inside of his mouth.
Your breasts may or may not have shooting pain.
Your baby's saliva may or may not be shiny.
Your nipples could be red, pink, purple or white.

What good is that?!  "May or may not" does not help me figure out what to do with this insipid yeast.  I can't believe what a pain in the ass it has been trying to get rid of it...that is, IF I ACTUALLY HAVE IT.

The baby has no symptoms, but one of the symptoms of thrush is that the baby could have no symptoms.  Did you get that?  Confusing, ain't it?

The only symptom I had was shooting pain in my nipple.  And when I say "shooting" I really mean it felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife over and over again.  It was as if the milk had ground glass in it.  This happened maybe 15 minutes after feeding the baby.

When I looked up "shooting pain," a hundred sites came up, all citing the dreaded THRUSH.  I could not get over how hysterical people were about this thing.  It was worse than mastitis, worse than plugged ducts...it was the invisible enemy, and one that multiplied at an exponential rate.  After reading several dozen pages, I realized one thing...I was screwed.

I started cleaning everything with bleach (not vinegar.)  I did six loads of laundry, with bleach.  I used several remedies, including grapefruit seed extract (liquid) and extra virgin coconut oil (solid like butter) on my nipples (and the gse in his mouth.)  I called the advice nurse several times, the lactation specialists, my obgyn's office, and my friends who had experienced this hell before.  The doctors wouldn't see me, nor would the specialists.  They all said the same thing.  There is no definitive diagnosis for thrush.  They could only go by my description, because all nipples look somewhat different.  None are "obviously" thrush nipples.  What?!

Everyone was saying something different, yet one thing remained:  Do NOT reinfect yourself.  Treat yourself and the baby at the same time.  Strangely, the only person who did not agree with this assessment was the baby's pediatrician, who took one look in the baby's mouth, shrugged and said, "He doesn't have thrush."  I had to strong arm a prescription for Nystatin out of him."

Eventually, I got in to see a nurse practitioner.  She took one look at my nipples and said, "They're puffy and meaty."  Translation: You have thrush.  She sent in a prescription for Diflucan and sent me on my way.

The problem with thrush is that if you have vague symptoms that kinda sorta match the usual symptoms, there is no answer to the question, "Do I have it?"  It's a horrible guessing game that always ends the same way.  You treat it anyway, because your fear of the thing makes you paranoid.

This game of "thrush" or "not thrush" messed with my head in a terrible way.  It stressed me out, gave me bouts of hysteria at any given moment, and really exhausted my patience.  If you ever get it, I wish you luck and recommend you go to your happy place immediately.  Otherwise, every tinge, tickle, or funny feeling you get in your breast will make you break into a cold sweat.

The sites I found helpful were few and far between, but for what it's worth, here they are:

Jay Gordon - Information on Thrush and how to treat it with Grapefruit Seed Extract

How long does Candida live on surfaces?

Babycare Advice - Very detailed and informative

Pinstripes and Polkadots - How to disinfect laundry, and other interesting information on bleach vs. vinegar

Mastitis...

AGAIN.  This is my third round with mastitis, and I can safely say that I am an expert in all things breast infected.  Not exactly the silver lining I was looking for during my stint with breast feeding.

This time it was a little different, however.  I felt the pain and knew right away...mastitis.  It had to be.  There was no mistaking it.  It was an aching hot throb that made one side of my breast hurt so badly I winced when I fed the baby.  Then, the pain got worse, but very quickly.  Before the fever hit, I had already told my husband to call the advice nurse to get a prescription for antibiotics straight away.  By the next hour I had a fever steadily rising.  See?  Expert.

As soon as I started feeling the pains and the lumps of clogged milk in my breast, I started hand expressing and warm compresses to get the infection out.  I knew it was important to get all the milk out of the breast, so the infection wouldn't linger.  For over an hour I groped myself.  It was pretty (not) awesome reaching second base with myself.

The next day was my older son's birthday party, which I attended, feeling a little deathly.  Two Tylenol and a playground full of kids pumped me up for the next three hours, which seemed ok compared to the hideous time I had with this beastly ailment before.  But that night I collapsed in a heap with a 102 fever.  It had come back with a vengeance and I was sick as a dog.

The antibiotics finally kicked in, everything stopped looking like a big disgusting purple bruise, and I felt much better the next day.  I kicked mastitis' ass and lived to talk about it...again.

The next day I had shooting pains so powerfully painful I thought to myself, "Holy God, I'd rather go through LABOR again than feel this."  When I looked it up on the internet, the only thing that kept popping up repeatedly?  THRUSH.  Not possible.  NOT OK.

After calling the advice nurse, she confirmed it was thrush.  "Thrush happens when you take antibiotics for mastitis.  Antibiotics kill the good bacteria that keeps your yeast in check.  Now, there's an overgrowth of yeast."  Ok, now what?  "Apply Vagasil to your nipples."  What?  Gross.  I'll do it, but gross.

Somehow, applying a vaginal yeast infection cream to my nipples didn't seem right, so I called the lovely ladies at the lactation center who promptly said, "Thrush?  No.  Damaged nerve ending?  Yup!"  They suggested a cocktail of B-6 (for the damaged nerve) and probiotics (to take while taking antibiotics.)

To triple check the possibility I had thrush and had given it to the baby, we also saw the pediatrician, who checked the baby's mouth for the tell-tale white spots, looked at me like I was a loon, and said in his thick accent, "No thrush.  Usually, baby gives thrush to mama.  Not mama give thrush to baby.  No thrush." And then I was sent on my way with a prescription for Nystatin (just in case thrush popped up in the next day or two) and a pat on the head.

So what have we learned?  Don't look on the internet.  The internet is not a doctor.  The internet will drive you mad with unnecessary worry.  Also, NO GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCHING.  It's for your own good.

Also, when websites tell you that thrush can be stealthy and that the symptoms can be hidden?  Not true, sayeth the wise and sage lactation specialists I talked to.  And the pediatrician confirmed it.  There are always white spots in the baby's mouth, and always raw hamburger-looking nipples. Not comforting, but there it is.