But the real problem is the lack of sleep. I've been dozing off at 3:00 a.m. and waking up at 6:00 a.m. only to eat a quick breakfast with my husband before he goes off to work. Then, I fall back asleep watching television at 8:00 a.m. or so and then wake up at 11:00 a.m. It's about 6 hours of sleep altogether...but not a solid, deep sleep. It's hard to get some rest when Angel is on (6-8 a.m., channel 37...fyi.)
I have no idea what is keeping me up at night. It may be the anxiety of the labor and birth, as I have never been one to give up control in my life, if at all possible. However, I don't dwell on it constantly, nor do I obsess about the pain that's coming. I just know it's there, and it weighs on my mind occasionally.
Or maybe it's the worry about the baby being ill or having down syndrome. I'm definitely terrified of either of those prospects, not because it would make this baby less loved, but because I wouldn't have the slightest clue what to do if that were the case. That is one surprise I don't want to experience.
Either way, I'm up. I'm really awake. And after noon on any given day, I'm exhausted. It's become a frustrating cycle.
On the other hand, baby seems to be enjoying the insomnia. He does a little jig every time I get out of bed and says, "HAY, I LOVE IT IN HERE!"
Eviction notice is looming, baby. Get packed.
No comments:
Post a Comment