NO DOI.

I can't come close to expressing how SICK I am of people who tell me the following...and please keep in mind that I'm running on empty here. I literally get 3 hours of sleep a night, if I'm lucky.

1) Get yer sleep now, while you can! HAR HAR HAR!

YES I KNOW. How many times do you think I've heard this one? A dozen? A hundred? It's getting to the point where I'm literally walking away mid-sentence whenever I hear it. It's EVERY DAY. And it seems like the teller of such a nugget of wisdom thinks it's hilarious to tell me this, like it's my payback for some unknown bad karma I acquired in a past life.

2) You will NEVER see a movie in a theater again! See all the movies you can now!

YES I KNOW. You can't bring a baby into a theater, I KNOW THIS. In fact, I am one of those people who roll their eyes when they see a parent with a kid walk into Wolverine or Transformers. It's really not something I expect to do with my own kid, which is why I have Netflix.

3) You should eat out now while you can. You will never have a dinner alone with your husband again.

YES I KNOW. A baby makes it hard to eat at a romantic restaurant. It's not hard to understand that. I'm not delusional and I'm not crazy.

4) Your life will never be the same. Have fun now while you can.

NICE. Thanks for the notice. Like having a baby will suck the fun out of my life forever. GREAT TIDBIT. I feel sorry for your children, being the succubus spawn they are in your life. Sheesh.

5) You'll be changing diapers and they'll be stinky and gross.

Not even going to respond to this inane comment except to say DUH.

Now don't get me wrong...I don't mind advice, when it's good advice, full of love, generosity, and good intentions. However, the above do not count as any of that. It's really getting to the point where I'm sick of talking to people who have nothing good to say about having a baby.

I spoke with a friend the other day. She has two kids. I mentioned my gripes about people giving their "advice" and she said, "Oh I totally remember that. I always thought those people were kind of mean."

Mean and obviously looking for members to join their MISERABLE PARENT'S CLUB. I, for one, do not plan on being one of those members, thank you. It took some trials and tribulations to get to this point...I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Yes, I know what that saying means. And yes, I'm older than rocks.