Waiting and Hoping and Wishing and Praying

Have you ever wished your boobs hurt?  I do.  I wish there was some sign of pregnancy this early in the game.  I'm unofficially at four weeks, one day, and I don't feel anything except an occasional soreness.  That just isn't good enough for me.  I need SERIOUS pain.

Although I did get a pang of nausea two days ago while trying to eat scrambled eggs.  It washed over me so quickly, I wasn't sure if I was going to vomit on the floor in front of me.  But the nausea quickly dissipated and now I feel fine.

Since all the awful signs of pregnancy are a good thing to feel when you're uncertain, it's hard to imagine having something growing inside my uterus right now without pangs of worry and dismay.  

The acupuncturist gave me several affirmations.  I'm supposed to pin them all over the house and at work and read them to myself daily.  She said this is not the same pregnancy, and that I should see it as a whole new experience.  And although it is a different pregnancy, I see the similarities, too.  I feel the bloating, the tender stomach, the early morning rise...five or six in the morning every day since I tested.   Obviously, I need to let go of the past and look toward the future.  Easier said than done.

Painful boobs would help right now.  I don't trust the bloating symptom.  Bloating could just be the tamale I ate last night for dinner.