Statistics and Numbers

Two recurrent miscarriages is a cause for alarm for people trying to conceive, especially if you're over that "magic age" of 35.  However, doctors want to wait for at least three to consider expensive testing and drug therapy, which is aggravating and infuriating.  Two isn't enough?!  How about two in a row?!

I looked up some factoids, which means either nothing or something.  But here's what I found:

5% of couples trying to conceive experience two miscarriages in a row.  

You still have a 60% chance of carrying a baby full term if you have two in a row.

Genetic factors, structural abnormalities, hormonal factors, and blood clotting disorders can all lead to miscarriage.

Chromosome analysis, anticoagulants, and hormone therapy can be used to treat these issues successfully.

The Internet may not be the best resource for information, I agree.  So here are my factoids, coming from experience.  I start worrying when the following events happen:

1.  If the pregnancy line that was positive yesterday becomes "less positive" the following days (more than three days in a row.)  In other words, the pink/blue line gets lighter and lighter as the days go on.  Theoretically, it should get darker.  Many say it depends on the brand and how much dye is used in each individual stick.  They also say the HPT is a measure of YES or NO, and not a quantitative measure.  I disagree.  It measures HcG, so I believe it should get darker every day, as your HcG numbers should double and/or triple every day.

2.  If the pregnancy symptoms quickly disappear over a period of one or two days.  In my case, my breasts were painful one day, and less so the next.  My nose was running like a faucet one day, the next I was dry.  My sleeping patterns also changed abruptly...I was waking up at 5 in the morning every day like clockwork until suddenly I was sleeping in late.

3.  Spotting.  I wiped after going to the bathroom and saw a pink tinge of blood.  There was no cramping or clots, just a little smear of blood.  

Most sites are comforting, and tell you it's implantation bleeding.  If it happens later than 10-12 days past ovulation, it's probably not implantation bleeding.  

The blood turned red the next time I wiped, and I looked up "breakthrough bleeding" online. Although this is a common issue in early pregnancy, it's also a big sign of threatened miscarriage.  At this point, I just knew it was gone.

Even though I know the facts, and I know my body, I still keep looking for answers everywhere.  The only answer I've found is that there are no answers.  The reality of miscarriage is that sometimes there is nothing to blame.  It just happens for no apparent reason, other than my age working against me.

Everything I read looks depressing and hopeless at this point.  But I am still bleeding and cramping today, so this may not be the smartest thing for me to be researching.  

I've always been the type of person who is comforted by knowledge.  But this time, I think ignorance may be bliss.