Hubby and I had a big ass fight the other day and I thought the embryo would fly out of my womb due to the stress and screaming that ensued. I'm beginning to think about the possibility of miscarriage every moment of every day. My thought process goes like this:
1) My age. I'm friggin' old. Or so I'm told by EVERYONE.
2) My health. I'm asthmatic and allergic to pretty much everything in the air. I'm the geeky kid on the playground with the head/neck gear and the inhaler permanently attached to my mouth.
3) I'm a stress basket by nature. I'm borderline OCD. I'm a female Monk. (I watch a lot of Law and Order...this also qualifies me for the Monk description.)
4) The embryo hates me already and therefore wants out of this partnership. By the way, I fully realize this is just me being completely unreasonable and emotionally unstable. But since I'm pregnant, I'm allowed to be crazy for at least another 8 months. Cool beans!
I know the odds, because I've been reminded of them on every website dedicated to pregnancy on the Internet. I also know that I'm beyond the magic age of 35, which makes me MORE likely to miscarriage or have birth defects.
But right now I choose to be happy, undisturbed by numbers and statistics (which are notoriously wrong in most cases). I want to remember that life throws you curve balls sometimes, and you swing and miss, or hit it out of the park. This pregnancy is getting to me...I must be slowly losing my mind. Did I just use a baseball metaphor?!
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift. That is why it is called "the present."
(For those of you who saw Kung Fu Panda, now in theaters, you know I totally stole that from the movie. Don't hate. It's still super cool.)
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