Creature Comforts...Guantanamo Bay-Style

I think I will name this post "Conversations with my girlfriends that go horribly, horribly wrong."  It will be the first in a series of phone calls I've been having lately that have made me feel like I need a Silkwood shower after hanging up.  

GIRLFRIEND:  I'm so sorry about the miscarriage...that's so sad.  I'm so sorry.  Are you feeling ok?

ME:  Yeah.  It was pretty brutal, but I'm feeling much better now.  

GF:  Oh, good.  How did it happen?  I mean, how did it happen?  When did you know?

ME:  Well, I had some bleeding.  I thought I was just spotting.  But then, it turned into cramping, and more bleeding.  And then, it just...

GF:  Did it come out?  Did it look like anything?  I mean, did you see anything?

ME:  ...what?

GF:  I mean, did it look like...

ME:  ...uuum...

GF:  When did it come out?

ME:  ...uh, it came out over the course of a week or so, but yeah, IT came out later on in the week.  

GF:  You SAW it?

ME:  Well, yeah.  It was pretty traumatic, going to the bathroom to pee.  

GF:  ...what did it look like?

ME:  ...SIGH...ok, it looked like a little clot, and it was attached to stringy stuff.  It was really gross and I really don't like thinking about it.  Thanks.

GF:  Oh my God.  Wow.  I'm so sorry.

ME:  Yeah, ME TOO.

Click.  

Aaaaand scene.