Decisions of Mind vs. Body

Whomever coined it a "biological clock" needs to be put in a small room with barely enough air, and a gauge on the wall indicating when it will run out completely and he will suffocate (I know it must have been a "he").   That's what the Baby Race feels like...a biological ticking time bomb.

After seeing the high-risk OB/GYN today, I think I've discovered something finite...that nothing is finite.  To risk sounding like the blind guy from Kung-Fu, I've come across some thought provoking ideas that have been eating at me since this afternoon.  

1) Most of the answers you make will be clear to you too late.  

2) Most will be unpleasant choices you will be forced to come to terms with.  

3) All will be over-analyzed and discussed to death, Googled to shreds, and taken apart bit by bit until it doesn't even make sense anymore...kind of like saying "banana" over and over again until your brain refuses to recognize it as an actual word.

I've also discovered a new conundrum to the Baby Race I've inadvertently entered myself and my husband into...after miscarrying, I have to decide when to try again.

There are several schools of thought on the matter, but two are most prominent in the baby chat rooms on the Internet.  Don't wait, and wait.

In the "don't wait" corner, you have doctors who see no correlation between miscarrying a second time and getting pregnant right after the first miscarriage.  These doctors see no problem with trying again immediately, and claim there is nothing conclusive to prove that you need to "heal" anything except your broken heart in order to conceive again right away.  

The "wait" proclaimers seem to think that it's absolutely necessary to take at least a month to three months to let your uterine lining build up properly, and to get a few regular cycles under your belt before trying again.  In addition, it's easier to calculate dates when you know your cycle dates.  That's hard to do when you've just miscarried and bled for any crazy number of days.

Although I'd love to be in the "don't wait" corner of the argument, I have to admit, the other side has good points.  It all sounds more logical, unfortunately for me and my ticking time bomb of a biological clock.

But my body feels good.  I'm getting stronger, healthier, calmer.  I feel ready, emotionally and physically.  My mind is fighting logic and pushing me towards throwing the dice and just seeing what happens.  I never planned on returning to the pill, and I want to stay completely off medication as long as I can possibly tolerate it.  So if we happen to get busy, and the planets align on the night of a full moon, so be it.  I doubt it will happen this soon, but if it does, c'est la vie.

So I guess if I have to pick a side, I pick Doris Day...Que Sera Sera.