Ungrateful

The other day I was accused of being ungrateful, which couldn't be further from the truth. I've had a truly blessed pregnancy. Not one drop of vomit. Not one instance of emotional insanity...well, maybe a small few.

And in my defense, I have not complained much at all. In fact, I've been downright cheerful to a disgusting degree. I'm surprised I don't break into song while cartoon animals flock around me, batting their big brown Bambi eyes.

That's not to say that I haven't felt discomfort from time to time. I've had to pee every five minutes since I was 7 weeks along. My stretch marks are visible and screaming red. I have such bad carpal tunnel I can barely make a fist, no less type with any accuracy or speed (this post will probably be finished by the time the sun sets tonight.) I get leg cramps in the middle of the night that are so painful I wake from a dead sleep to moan about it.

But here's the thing that makes all these pings and pangs go away. I see women all around me struggling with different issues related to fertility and pregnancy. They fight with their bodies, they inject fertility drugs, they try donor eggs, they go through IVF.

Lately, I've heard about two instances of stillbirths which chilled me to my very core. One was recent, unexpected, and completely surprising. The other was a woman who was pregnant with triplets. She became seriously ill with a mysterious infection. They had to perform an emergency c-section at 18 weeks. All three babies died outside of the womb.

A few years back, my friend had gorgeous twins. They were a healthy, happy boy and girl. Everything seemed fine, until the little girl came down with a severe fever. She passed away quickly and without much suffering, thank God. She was only 3 years old.

Remembering these stories puts everything into perspective, if not for a moment. Petty complaints seem redundant and pointless for that moment you have to sit and reflect on how fragile life is, and how precious children are.

But then it's back to the daily grind. Everything snaps back into focus. The little irritations that plague us on a regular basis return. That's just life. We are all human, and we err. We err like crazy.

I believe in being grateful. I know I truly am. I can't believe my luck sometimes, with friends, family, my husband, my pregnancy.

But I also believe that we all have the right to complain once in a while. It's normal, healthy, and if I didn't, my head would literally explode. Pregnant women are like pressure valves. We all need a release every now and then.