Pins and Needles

I had a headache on Thursday that just wouldn't go away.  On Saturday, I had my first acupuncture appointment ever, and I thought to myself, "A-HA.  If she's not a quack, she'll make this tumor in my brain disappear and my headache will go away!"  However, it wasn't exactly the magical hocus-pocus I was expecting.

My initial appointment with the acupuncturist was two hours long and surprisingly painful.  To those of you who told me the needles were tiny and I wouldn't feel a thing, I say to you, "BAH."  They hurt.  A LOT.

However, I liked the idea of trying something holistic and meditative to get my body to relax enough for this fertility Hell.  Since hard-core street drugs have been proven to be bad for pregnancy, I can't take any to deaden my pain.   Acupuncture is the next best thing, without the added birth defects.

But again, I must reiterate, the needles DID hurt.  It WAS NOT painless.  And YES I AM A BIG FAT WIMP.  I just can't stand any kind of pain at all, and I whined and cried about it until it was finally over.  I'm sure this woman is not looking forward to seeing me next week...or is purchasing ear plugs as I type this.

The experience was pretty interesting, I must admit.  It was far less stressful than any doctor I've visited in the past few months, and after an hour of intake, she pish-poshed the idea that I was too old to conceive.  In fact, she said it was ridiculous that any doctor would say that.  I think I love her.

She looked at my tongue and made the assessment that I was in good health, except for maybe some sleeping issues, which was true.  I guess the tip of my tongue is red.  That means something.  Don't ask me what.

She also instructed me not to drink anything cold...ice, ice cream, frozen yogurt, cold salad.  "You wouldn't bake a cake in a cold oven, now, would you?"  No.  I suppose not.  But I sure do love ice cream and cold water.  Boo.

After some needle twisting and poking, I was left to relax for a few minutes.  According to my husband, I fell asleep.  Apparently, the snoring gave me away.

And then I was given some gnarly Chinese herbs called Bupleurum and Peony.  They look like the size of a large fish pellet, and taste like one, too.  It supposedly regulates your hormones and your periods.  I'll take anything at this point to avoid another 33 day cycle.  That last one was pretty near God-awful.

So after the $125 (+$20 for fish pellets) initial acupuncture session, I left with my headache intact and a heavy feeling in my uterus.  I wonder if that means something is brewing down below.  My egg is supposed to pop in a week, and I admit it's a little like waiting for Santa Claus to drop down the chimney.