I was thinking the other day...I may not be appropriate for a Mother's Group, and here's why:
1) Whenever breastfeeding is brought up, I always comment, "You breastfeedin'? Doesn't it SUCK? UGH."
2) I'm far too pretty for a Mother's Group and they'll all be jealous of me.
KIDDING. I actually look like Marilyn Manson on a bad day. Good day? Phyllis Diller.
3) I hate talking about how motherhood has been a life-altering, amazing, beautiful change. I prefer to discuss and vent about the days I wake up covered in baby vomit and smelling like pee.
4) My last discussion with a mom went something like this:
A MOM: Oh, I'm so happy.
ME: I woke up the other day and totally forgot I was a mom and I was SO RELAXED. Is that wrong?
5) I can't talk to women who have flat stomachs and kids. It makes me physically sick from depression.
6) I don't exercise and I eat crap. Yes, I'm breastfeeding. My milk expels twinkies and pork rinds.
2 comments:
you'd be fine here in new york. i miss california, but sometimes the happy pills that people are on there is just too much.
Agreed. We Californians do tend to bask in the sunshine, take a lot of happy pills, and glorify breast feeding to a cultish fervor.
Post a Comment