Ingrate!

Hub and I were reading about the sleep issues we have been having with our four month old and found hundreds of posts on threads of various parenting sites by moms and dads looking for answers to their problems. All of them were desperately seeking advice on how to weather the storm of the relentless four month wakeful period...except one.

My husband and I read it aloud to one another several times rolling on the floor in fits, nearly crying from the hysterical laughter.

so-and-so posted:

"Our baby isnt waking up in the night, just at the crack of dawn. any ideas on how to get her to sleep later? I shouldnt complain, she sleeps from about 930-630 or 7. but that is early for me!"

Of course, no one posted a response to her query. Since she had just complained about getting 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night, and having to rise at 6:30-7 a.m. in the morning, she should have checked herself into the witness relocation program to avoid being bumped off by one of the sleep depraved, crazed women on this site.

Even my husband and I sobered up after a while and started resenting her. Here we were, exhausted from lack of sleep, bickering with one another, trying to find a way to soothe our kid into slumberland without permanently damaging him psychologically and she was complaining about 7 a.m. being "early for me!" ?!

At least when our baby was sleeping through the night we didn't COMPLAIN ABOUT IT. We knew we were pretty lucky. We also knew the party would end soon enough, so we appreciated every sleeping second of the time we had to rest.

I was tempted to flame her on the thread, but couldn't find the words to respond to such an unappreciative maroon. The best response I could come up with was, "Hey ass hat. #%$^@#$*."

But honestly, I thought that might come across as too subtle.