Four Months and What Happens Next

Here's what happened to us, from day one, with the sleep issue.

Baby started off great from the day he was born and slept through the night for three months straight.  I was told by my friend to NEVER mention this to any mother that had even the slightest bag under her eye, in the fear I would be maimed or killed for my big mouth.

We knew it was a blessing, although it sometimes took 1-2 hours to get him to actually sleep.  He'd fight it for as long as his little body could maintain the indignant screaming, and then pass out for 7-8 hours.  We knew we were blessed.  Every night we'd sneak smirky looks at one another, as if to say telepathically, "Heh, heh, heh...we're such lucky bastards."

Yeah, well here comes month four.  Along with my hair falling out in clumps, the baby has decided to try to make me bald by depraving me of any and all sleep until I PULL MY HAIR OUT AT THE ROOTS.  He is sleeping an hour at a time, waking up, crying or moaning like he's being tortured, and then continuing this relentlessly all night long.  I woke up this morning feeling like the hair ball that was sitting in my bath tub drain.  My husband resembled a frozen Jack Nicholson in The Shining, clutching a cup of hot coffee instead of an ax.

We immediately assumed we were being punished by God for our insolence.  It was our smugness that was coming back to punch us in the face now.  The baby was no longer the great sleeper.  He was now in the throws of what is famously known as...THE FOUR MONTH WAKEFUL PERIOD.

I had no idea this even existed, and I Google everything under the sun.  This took me totally by surprise. I felt blindsided as I read post after page about this horrible phenomenon.  I always attributed his change in sleep to the dreaded sleep regression or some sort of spurt of growth...perhaps he was even teething early, who knew.

But no.  It's this hideous four month wakeful period that's making my life Hell right now.  Not sleeping is the worst feeling in the world when you wake up and look at that fully alert, cute-as-a-button face staring up at you from the crib.  You think to yourself in a haze of semi-consciousness, "How am I going to function with this baby today?  Am I going to drop him on his head?  What will his SAT scores look like then?!"

Ugh.  Gah.  And Bleah.