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Monday, January 4, 2010

Nobody Told Me

1) Baby vomit is slippery.  Wipe it off your floor with a scrub cloth.  I almost broke a hip when I tried walking on a newly cleaned hardwood floor in my socks.

2) Babies love being skin to skin.

3) You don't need to use diaper rash cream every single time you change a diaper.

4) Baby poop doesn't start to stink until a few months, when their digestive tract matures a little more...then, you need a hazmat suit to change diapers, it's so gross.  Two words:  DIAPER GENIE.

5) Babies shed.  At least, mine is.  He looks like he's going through a Benjamin Button phase.

6) Babies drool a LOT around two months, even though they're not teething.  Buy lots and lots of bibs.

7) Babies sleep all the time when they're brand new.  You can eat out in restaurants, no matter what people warn you about before you give birth.

8) People like to see you suffer as much as they did when they had newborns, so they say things that aren't necessarily kind.

9) People also lie about their newborns sleeping through the night so you'll shut the hell up about how you didn't sleep a wink when he was born and how you can expect the same.  (Although we were lucky and ours did sleep through the night...until a month ago.  The honeymoon is definitely over.)

10) Pacifiers.  They're awesome.  And they help reduce the risk of SIDS.

11) This one is from my terrific husband:  When washing the pumping equipment (twice daily) WEAR GLOVES.  His hands became horribly cracked and dry without them.  No amount of lotion helped.

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