Now, I know more than most about the issues of depression because I've dealt with it for decades. But the only concrete thing I can put my finger on is that depression is so complicated, its facets so fractured and splintered, that it's impossible to predict or completely cure.
On many baby sites, I see the title "Baby Blues" characterized by the typical symptoms of mood swings, anxiety, sadness, irritability, crying, decreased concentration and trouble sleeping. This is considered the lesser form of postpartum depression, and caused by hormonal changes after birth.
Postpartum depression proper is characterized with more detail, appearing to be "Baby Blues" at first, but then lingering and turning uglier with a loss of appetite, insomnia, intense irritability or anger, lack of joy in life, feelings of shame, guilt or inadequacy, severe mood swings, difficulty bonding with the baby, withdrawal from family and friends and thoughts of harming yourself or baby.
Postpartum psychosis is the severest form of depression caused by childbirth. It typically develops within two weeks of delivery and include confusion and disorientation, hallucinations and delusions, paranoia, and attempts to harm yourself or the baby.
As I anxiously await the birth of this baby boy, I feel the pressure building and pressing down. I can literally feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. The baby is coming, no doubt about it. The labor and delivery will be hard and painful, as everyone has been repeating over and over again (which has not been helpful, btw.)
But the hardest sell has been the hope that everything will be ok AFTER the birth. Knowing myself, knowing my husband, I don't know if we can handle another bout of severe depression in this relationship. Add a demanding little baby into that mix and there may be more to attend to than my aching uterus after labor and delivery.
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