Prick

After my acupuncture appointment today, I was aching. The points she hit were throbbing and sore, and I couldn't understand why it hurt so damn much this time around. My acupuncturist asked if I had been stressed out lately, as if that was the explanation for the pain...because it couldn't possibly be the fact she poked me with a NEEDLE. I considered her question for a minute and replied thoughtfully.

"Well, stressed, yeah. Maybe. Lesseeee...I had a miscarriage, so that's one thing. Then, I have to work for a pittance during an economic hell hole, that's two. And then my in-laws are visiting for 7 days beginning on Sunday...that's three. Then there's Thanksgiving with my dysfunctional Republican family next week. They'll be wearing black armbands because of Obama's win over their favorite sad grampa, McCain. OH, and my basal temps haven't spiked, so I haven't ovulated, and probably won't this month because of my psycho hormones. So, yeah. A SMIDGE STRESSED."

There was an awkward non-pregnant pause.

She took my pulse, said it sounded "great," and stuck me with another needle. I felt like the main character of Girl, Interrupted...depressed and aimless.

The only thing that made me feel better was remembering the other night when my husband absentmindedly tried to swallow an Airborne fizzy tablet instead of dissolving it in his glass of water like he was supposed to. He ran around the house yelling like a cat with a giant hair-ball stuck in his throat. He was chugging water at an impossible rate, trying to dissolve it, which was terribly amusing.

I nearly burst my kidney trying not to laugh, and even managed to ask him if he needed to go to the doctor. He just yelped at me, "DON'T TALK TO ME!!" and continued to run back and forth to the bathroom quickly with his distressed hands waving so fast and furiously I thought he might take flight. It was like having a Benny Hill episode come to life inside my living room...and it was awesomely funny. By the way, he's FINE, so I'm allowed to laugh hysterically now.

It's the little things that make life worthwhile.