Even before we began to think about potty training our first born, people would volunteer their thoughts on the subject. The only thing people said over and over again was, "Boys are harder to train than girls."
We are now going on a year trying to train this kid to poop in his potty. There is no rhyme or reason to his refusal to go. Like fecal-obsessed maniacs, we ask him repeatedly throughout the day, "Poop? POOP?! DO YOU NEED TO POOP!?" The only answer we get is, "No poop."
LIES. He DOES poop. He actually hides while he poops in his diaper. He stealthily crawls to the corner of the room, peers around the leg of the dining room table to see if I'm taking notice. How can I not, little man? The smell. Oh GOD, the smell. It eats the paint off the walls.
But the potty remains spotless. Once in a while, we'll get some pee, and then he'll get an M&M. Yes, we bribe our child with chocolate candy. It's called desperation, people.
Actually, desperation will be when we let the kid loose in the house without a stitch of clothes on. That's the method some of the books are suggesting. Apparently, when the child is naked, he will realize he has to go to the bathroom and run to the potty. Then, there is a happy dance performed and everyone eats chocolate candy and ice cream. Yay!
Yeah, no. Knowing this kid? We'll be bleaching the %$#@ out of our carpeted living room while eating buckets of Tums. Wait, do they offer chocolate-flavored Tums?
